Vegan Frothy Coffee: Brazil Nut Milk

I was excited about brazil nut milk. My excitement may have been tinged by desperation – there are only so many cups of weak, scummy coffee I can handle – but it was there. I’d actually saved this recipe up, trying soya milk first in order to confirm that yes, I really need to spend all that money and time finding an alternative.

The first thing I did was spend a lot of money on brazil nuts. 4 euros. That might not sound like much but in comparison to my shopping budget, my bank balance and the amount of cowspiracy milk I could get from the same amount. It felt a bit gross.

The second thing I did was find out that brazil nuts are poisonous! Like actually really poisonous, not just a bit poisonous the way that water and oxygen and pineapple are if you have too much of them. After descending into J-Stor hell I decided to use this recipe from The Blender Girl. In it she also provides explanations and links for the whole poisonous thing, so yeah, enjoy that.

Making some alternations along the way I soaked the brazil nuts for three hours with a splash of apple cider vinegar:

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I blended the nuts together with three cups of water, two dates, a teaspoon of vanilla essence and some sea-salt:

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Once I had my massive tub of spunk milk I strained it, added it to coffee, took a sip and stumbled back in horror:

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To be clear, I’m sure The Blender Girl recipe is great. The milk she made looked lovely and what with the name she probably has a better blender than me. So this is a post about my failure and if you want to try the recipe, go ahead and send me pics of how much better you do than I did.

But yeah. Short of straining the milk for a second time through a piece of muslin so fine it was woven by a Spider Queen, homemade brazil nut milk is not for me. What with the cost, the faff, the separating, the scum, the inability to froth, and the poison. Especially that last one. – Bea

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